The Decency of Subtle Lies

Part 2: Live, Love, Lie

Disclaimer:

As you'll probably pick up, this post unlike it's predecessor was not as intensely researched. Before you go and get disappointed though, this is not entirely a bad thing since it means the post will be significantly shorter 😉. Ow, and there's be some PG-13 rated content herein.

I Lie, You Lie, We Lie: It's our thing

As obnoxious as this sounds, you just have to admit that for there to exit a successful inter-human relation, lies are inevitable. Crazy, right? It's super true though. You are either lying to yourself or to the other person or persons you're interacting with.

Before you go and get yourself worked up trying to disproof my hypothesis (or in some cases just straight up deny how true this is), just take a deep breath and know it's not entirely a bad thing. I know I'm preaching to the choir with this one but I just had to go ahead and emphasize what has already been researched and proven by a significant number of researchers: Lying is good for you.

Following insights from a very special someone and relating that to a couple... nay, a "throuple" of other pairs of someones' "romantic" experiences. I'd like to take you on a little journey. The names of the persons mentioned have been altered and several elements of artistic fiction have been added to protect the privacy of said persons.

Hmm... So.. where to begin? 😕 Discussing lies and relationships at any and all levels is in itself an extremely daunting task. This not only due to the broadness of the topic but mostly because of the diversity of the nature in which modern day relationships occur, and how tightly woven into every one of them are lies of various extremities. That said, I will discuss but some of the few types of  relationships my dearest (from this point on called Libi) got me wondering about.

1. The "Meh" Relationship

   She rolled over, eyes sealed tight, her left hand stretched out flapping frantically trying to locate his phone on the bed stand. Tod snored away undisturbed by the repeated shriek that insistently mocked the morning peace. Sarah, now frustrated, forces her eyelids open, half squinting and locates that smudge of blinking light, vibrating and shrieking away without a care in the world. She grabs it, flips it over and an immediate sense of calm returns. Her arm retreats back to the side of her chest, her eyelids assume what feels like their natural state. The slight scowl that was engraved on her face slowly yields to the calm and soon vanishes. "Who on earth sets an alarm for 5:30AM on a Sunday morning?" is the thought that lulls her back to sleep.
   
   Hours later, she wakes us to a lonesome bed. She yanks the bedding off of her and struggles to a half sitting position. Pounding away at her stoking-ed up weave, she yawns while her slightly swollen eyes search the room for her significant 'snoring' other. He's phone is not on the bed stand, there's no off key karaoke emanating from the bathroom. Hmm... Where could he have ran off to? She sluggishly digs out her phone from under the pillow as if to probe it for answers to the whereabouts of her missing man.
   
   
   
   
   13:04 Sun, Feb 14, 2016 greets her on the lock screen along with several hidden notification. She unlocks the phone to find 3 missed calls from Tod and his latest shot at Shakespearean romance. It read:
   
   
   Roses are red, violets are blue,
   Got called in to work out of the blue,
   Baby don’t be sad, no don't be blue,
   You know, you know that, I love you
   Happy Valentine’s baby boo.
    
   
   There's a slight lingering doubt on the reason provided for the unwarranted disappearance of her lover on this day in particular. The scowl slowly creeps back to her drowsed up face as she tries to figure out whether she should be smitten by the horrible albeit sweet attempt at poetry or suspicious of Tod.
   
   Her mind is still too sleepy to care that she will be spending this "Lovers' day" alone. She just reads the poem again and as though by magic the scowl fizzles away again. She replies: 😪 and then 😏😙😘. "Meh! Lying or not he'll still come home to me so..." she tosses the phone aside and tucks her face back into her pillow and is soon fast asleep.
    

2. The Situationship

   
   He poured her another glass of that sparkling pink rose she was now all too fond of. For a wine that she professed her undying love for, she had never really bothered to learn  the name. He had made her a wine girl now, she was starting to get used to this life; the 'good' life. In the background, he was playing a mix of his favorite "high society" tracks. It featured everything from sweet, I dare say angelic melodies, of Josh Groban to the raw Texas tunes of Brad Paisley.
   
   "I swear this is my last one." she giggled in fain protest. He chuckled back. Their eyes locked. For a moment, an almost dramatic hush filled the room. Her nose twitched, she knew she'd be the first one to cave. She could feel her cheeks giving her away as he handed her the glass with a gaze that seemed to peer into her very soul... "Stop it." She said as she tucked her face behind her hands.
   
   Maybe it was the "matured grape juice" lighting fuses in her brain but she could feel it coming. He had relentlessly insisted that she spend the night and up to this moment she had stuck to her guns; she was going to leave in the depth of the night if she had to. He turned back to his computer, presumably to continue with the work that had kept him in the office this late. She sipped away at her glass as she caught him stealing glances of her generous cleavage. Her will to leave weakened.
   
   In a couple of hot flushes, she found herself bent over the three ply glass table with reinforced steel support, panties to her ankles climaxing to Brad Paisley's Perfect Storm: all too literally I may add (if you catch my drift😉). She wanted to feel wrong about it, but she couldn't. Why would she? She hadn't done anything wrong. After all, sh** happens and life goes on, right? #YOLO
   
   Now here they are, they don't see much of one another. They text each other though, a lot, so it somehow makes up for it. He flirts. She flirts back. They are happy. They are not together because her best friend, who doubles up as the guy's ex, would not have that. But occasionally they meet for some "cardio" and "stretches"😉😁. They have an arrangement, it works for them. The lies do go along way in keeping everyone happy.
   
   

3.  The Fairy tale 

   
   She's seated across from him completely unaware of his stare. A rush of emotions have Mickey speechless. He watches gracefully digging into her raisin covered chocolate-vanilla-blue berry ice cream. He want's to start a conversation but he's afraid he'll give away the secret he has managed to keep all day long. Convinced that she has no clue what is going on, that all the activities he had planned for that entire day were perfectly crafted to lead to this moment, he stopped cold when he saw look of surprise on Mwende's face.
   
   "This is it.." he thought to himself gently pulling back his chair as she dug out the foreign object that sought to ruin her favorite dessert. "Babe ebu ona vile awa wasee wamedo!!" He could feel the disappointment in her voice. He had done it. His plan had worked. Mwende, on noticing the spoon wasn't doing her any good dips her newly manicured thumb and index finger and fishes out the unwanted entity. "Oh.. My... God!" She stutters as she drops the tiny spoon and looks up from the ice cream cup.
   
   Mikey, heart beating uncontrollably, staggers out of his seat. He goes down on one knee, his social anxiety acting up from all the attention he's now drawing. Her eyes well up, she can't believe this is happening. The blue-brown-white smudged ring is still in her hand. With the napkin in his hand, and still down on one knee he takes it from her, wipes it, revealing a gorgeous 12 carat princess cut blue sapphire engagement ring  and takes her left hand. She's crying in the midst of the biggest smile he has ever seen. He knows his answer but he still has to pop the question.
   
   "Will you pay the bill?" He says, with a wide-eyed grin. She chuckles and kicks him playfully in the sheen. "Kwenda uko. Nkt!" "So, will you?" he ask deliberately vaguely. "Will I what?" "Marry me?" She pauses, "Amm..."

The decency of subtle lies

Lies come in all shapes and sizes. They are usually told to propagate several agendas and as much as we'd want to live in a lie free world, we wouldn't last a day without lies. Lies are as equally important as the truth, I can say that without fear of conviction.

But this is my security plan in case I am to be "convicted" for preaching propaganda and encouraging people to lie openly and deliberately. Lies are like salt, at least that's the closest thing I could analogize them to. They are best when used to taste, slightly seasoned just with the intent of arousing the taste buds of the person eating them up. This simply means the art of lying involves an intricate process of knowing just how much truth to give, how much to hold back and how much deceit to add.

So whether or not your Tod lied to you he had a work thing when actually he just wanted to ditch you for Valentine's (no to be a bearer of bad news but, this is so going to happen btw), or maybe you are lying to yourself that he is yours, when you actually know, or at the very least suspect, he's not. But then again, maybe you're not, and maybe he was indeed called into work and shall come back home to you.

Team #YOLO, I see you over there living the fast life. You're young so life is just one big part, right? Him, weaving a web of lies just to get between your thighs. Her, lying to herself that the gifts are just an added perk and not the reason she's with you. That she might eventually learn to love you. LOL

But maybe there is some level of decency in the lies that we tell, especially those we tell ourselves. Some of them wake us up in the morning, and keeps us going despite what gets thrown our way. I'm tempted to say that our hope is in subtle lies.


PS: I know I began by saying this post will be shorter, but guess what:

share your story, criticize (try and make it constructive though), or just ask a random question, I'll be happy to get back to you. See you after Valentine's.